Thursday, May 6, 2010

16 feet away ... !


Monotony is an aggressive depressant ! and only a few things blossom in your life that perhaps add the right seasoning to that monotonous life we all hate to pursue… but for the sake of credit cards, coffee day breaks, pubs and the responsibility… quietly push the life ahead ignoring those imperfections :)

The time of my life when I felt that everyone I CRAVE to be with are away beyond the horizon…. There sure comes a hope of light :)

Eyes matter a lot for communication in this world when words are seldom used over the messengers and mails ! Eyes communicate and so Does the SMILE and the blink J She would come early … (before me anyways) and I would never fail to notice her presence. Even though the zone makes you feel like day or night has a CFL to replace the sun, her eyes through her glasses make her pretty. Brown eyes… that’s all I noted at the first look.

Every time we cross each other (coincidentally .. EVERYDAY…) v look at each other… make that eye contact and just pass each other. NO smile. No words spoken. Absolutely NOTHING exchanged. She looks nice…and it makes me look dumb ! (and otherwise too)

I had this habit of looking at ID cards and thanks to the sharp eyes i've maintained for that dream to be in the Army… I still spot small things very clearly even from a distance. Perhaps its situational disorders like the one that I’m going to mention that perhaps changes the course of life ! J Because whenever i’ve tried to spot her name from the ID card around her neck, eyes go BLURD, lights go dim and DHAMMMM …. I find myself facing the wall or gaping in your seat like a from waiting for the prey.

Sometimes you straighten your attitude and even when you are conscious of her presence moving in the opposite direction , u look busy into the phone or at watch just to save the embarrassment. Otherwise you share a smile and smirk with yourself en route to the pantry… saving the confrontation… but listening to her voice. I don’t hear the violins… but I do hear commotion of all the cubicles bustling with VoIP phones ringing and programs facing roadblocks ! :)

And there comes the manager and tells you , ” Hey let’s move you into a more challenging team. Let’s get you moved to another location on the floor where you can be in proximity with your new team members “.

At first it felt nice to receive something challenging… tried and tested coming up in your career ladder… and on the next blink you realize…the lady who alas caught your eye was just 16 feet away… always getting that attention and perhaps you never know what she thought about. “ do you even know her name ?! “… damn… there you go sitting miles away… where a minute equates to an HOUR of your life and perhaps craving…

A thought gushes in… “ out of sight and out of mind ”… does that really work ? is it more important to focus in demanding situations (… like looking at the ID card ? )…and stay afloat of the rest of the drowning crowd ?!

Keep pondering… :) one day I’ll find her name :) and tell her she got pretty brown eyes ! (And that’s all !! ;) )

And that how 16 feet of space can influence can catch your eye ! :)

PS : This work is truly a FIGMENT of my imagination… and I’m a certain believer of “ Imagination always has a lot of reality “ . Comments welcome J

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The rat race begins !!

The last post was disturbing…. Note the dates.. ! :) I can only say I wish to continue to use this repository.. AGAIN ! :) things have changed .. indeed moved on. This time only for the better I believe ! :)

The stroll of teenage to end of college life indeed laid the bricks for the ultimate rat race. Kept reassuring myself that everything that I do from now on would inevitable be for the GOOD. Life takes many courses and I went the Infy way. Training starts… life begins the BIG corporate way. From the awe inspiring infrastructure to the mind boggling campus, the whole place was a paradise.. or was it? !!! Made some awesome friends. Yup… dearly miss them. More than the technical skill set for the resume, I believe this life taught me 2 things…. Very important things !!

How to work without much sleep !! … and next… How to be lucky and always be on the RIGHT side of life. Alcohol became a source of life… smokes became the literal constant in life to keep the gravity HIGH :) just the bare necessities to stand your ground and wait for the inevitable ! :) Those who can relate can … and i'm sure… will nod in the affirmative :) ! On the note of dedication… Thanks for all the smokes I borrowed… for all the care I received when I was low ... and to the computer screens when I dint know wot the answer to the questions were ! :) Cheers to all ! :)

And then came the familiar gang… Classmates from school… friends from different parts of the country whom I thought I would never meet again… all came together.. ! :) alcohol.. weed .. smokes.. guitars… gazebo and the module tests… surprisingly… this coagulation cobwebbed life in a way… but never made u trip n fall… its just like the feeling u have when you are in a crowded bus. It is so crowded that u actually don’t have to hold anything to support … because all are in the same shit ! :) and that's precisely what we all were going through during the training at Infy… we were all in the same SHIT… more importantly.. TOGETHER ! :)

Dedicated to Advait, Raghu and Vishalmysore drinking escapade was one of the most stunning nites ! :)

Leaving training was the most nostalgic experience in my life… so far. Left the place in a hurry.. and when I was actually driving back home.. it struck me … and there it was … “ What now with life ? where the FU** am I heading now ? “ . Friends were gone… all biting on to their piece of flesh in different directions ! and there was me on the list too. Where on earth is life heading ? perfect example of the Quarter life crisis. I think I was running the rat race… and ran all the way from Mysore to Cochin to Trivandrum to land at Bangalore ! Came here to feel at home with the Brotherhood in Advait, Vipul and Sourabh... (Aka thakur... patel and sanghi respectively... )and the NEVER SAY NO to anything - Namitha, Abhishek.. (stillfler)... Pallavi n Roli (aka Bhatti n Ms. Confused(or is she)...) ... big brother Sourabh Bhaiya(he is the Big B :))... and many more to come :) always dreamt of being here living MY LIFE… MY WAY ! … adding life to the BLOG NAME…. LIVING MY MIND ! and here continues the NEXT lap of the JOURNEY ! stay tuned ! :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

losin my senses

i dunno if its the summer or the course of events in life. i feel everything collapsing around me this time.. and could be something common to those eyes that have been around me for a long time. people think its a recurring problem i have wit life... DEPRESSION ! :)

well... things are no longer to be the same. and i feel i am no longer poised for those things i thought i needed to achieve. is tat my health ?! or something more to do wit my mind ? :) few questions i need to answer.

As a resultant of frustration i kinda put a stop to my orkut profile. this time i'vent deleted it ... but wont be using it.. perhaps for a LONG time ! for those who need to reach me ... please mail me and u'll get my contact number ! :)

sorry for the BLOG on a standstill !

Saturday, February 21, 2009

the 600 second DASH ..

The quickest ever...

Now people found some parts of it reminiscent of the previous works... some found it totally different ! :)

i would say.. THAT is the quickest i got something intriguing out of my head.Looking at a more mellow sketch... would be rather a simple deception to the normal eyes. When u crave to hold on to hands tat u had to held onto .. for so long... would at times KILL you.

and running through the head phones were: ....

Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada
Bhoolega dil jis din tumhe
Woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada

Perhaps those WERE indeed the best days of my life tat i miss so much... ppl moved on ... to different ppl.. and you are still stuck in those sands of time.. eroding and slipping away...

:) waiting... as always..

UPDATE : this took 600 seconds into the making. Some help from a few references.. and there.. ! :)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

the MOONz evenin walk.. !

Look whose WALKIN !!!... :) Came as a surprise at 4:45 pm IST :) Sp much for the DAY dreamers ...Look out for more from the LenzWatch series .

Device : Nokia n80 3.2 MP
Date : 06-02-09
Time : 1645 hours
Location : Coimbatore

Feel free to comment... even if it is just a "hi" :)
and im waiting for interesing cameras i can use .... for the photographer in me ! :) Pls feel free to mail me.Would be my pleasure to reply..

UPDATE : LensWatch is comin soon on my slideshow too.So u got something interesting to share froum ur lens ? The email link is just arnd the corner :)

Friday, February 6, 2009

... an equivocal monomaniac's pathway to GOD !

"I saw with my eyes open that all the things of the room together with the walls were rapidly whirling and receding into an unknown region, and my I-ness together with the whole universe was, as it were, going to vanish in an all devouring great void. I was then overwhelmed with terrible fear. I knew that the destruction of I-ness was death, so I thought that death was before me, very near at hand. Unable to control myself, I cried out loudly, saying, 'ah. What is it you have done to me? I have my parents, you know."

Wonderin as to wot they mean ? This is the part of a conversation between Ramakrishna paramahansa and his loving disciple Vivekananda.

Vivekananda was an athiest for a beginner and attempted at possessing an attitude tat is rational to answer the many paradigms existing for GOD.He came across to hear abt a divine being at the Dakshineshwar temple who claimed to hav seen and also make a conversation wit GOD himself. After a visit to the temple and meetin him he felt he is speakin to a MONOMANIAC. Vivekananda tried to explain the concept of god in a less complicated way though.

he questioned wit skepticism to find some real answers. Ramakrishna made him sit at the temple .He (ramakrishna) went into a divine mood and touched Vivekananda with his right foot. Immediately Vivekananda had a wonderful experience, which is as above in quoted text ! :)

a realization rushed past me.and i opened my eyes to an experience. This is wot happened a few months back when i sat down for a coffee wit dad ( oh he likes TEA :) .. im the coffee guy ) and wit his abundance in spirituality it struck the right note wit the story he narrated.

and i learnt... GOD is an EXPERIENCE.He comes in as an energy ... a cistern of the immense experience we call LIFE. Sometimes u feel, sometimes u perceive in a thought and most of the time u EXPERIENCE god. it came as a lesson tat i happened to ponder when i made visit to the temple after a long time ... for i got the first signs of me gettin a job admist the global recession.. :) [and tas today though :) ]

Im happy.. and thank you Acha for tat quote u mentioned else i would have been oblivious forever

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Nostalgia... memoirs... and a few TEARS of joy !

Lazing around wit a mellow day... i was upto nothing.was thinking as to wot to do for a blog entry. For the emotional infant in me ... I'm bound to a lot of things touching and emotionally inclined. Always appreciate .

Evening was surprising wit a hand to hold on to and a lot of promise i could only BELIEVE in dreams.Ya believe wit my dream as to wot i believe is wot i wish to make a reality. I love those hands i held and it leaves me wit only these to say : (something i etched in my mind)

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel

I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

aaaahh.. i still crave for Ur hands .... still crave to play your fool... still waiting to feel your love... stil waitin to hold those hands and ur mind i dance along in those streams in my dreams :)

still sitin wit the fag end of the smoke.. and feelin the nicotine rush... there came a BLING ring on the phone . It was a text from an old friend of mine. Someone iven seen for almost 14 to 17 years. My first sister who tied a rakhi for me ..First person who made me realise tat BEST friends are for ever.. past the milestones of time and shattering the cliche concept of
OUT OF SIGHT and OUT of SIGHT !:) thank u sister.

Those pics u see at the top are thumbs of some of the best times i had back when i was nothin bigger than a CRICKET bat ... at belgaum , Karnataka... 17 years ago...

Felt the mild pinch of nostalgia when i combined wit Rakesh omprakash's mehra's production wonder DELHI 6 soundtrack ... where u feel the rich essence of RAHMANIA... oh ya .. tas the magic of rahman as many acclaimed critics COINED it ! :) ... oh ya im talking of MASAKALI ! :) listen to it ! :)

and till now I'm still siting .. HIGH on nostalgia and as i type .. i feel the screen go glum wit my eyes going wet and heart going heavy... Thank u Anamika chechi... for those wonderful memoirs to be injected as a lifeline into my life.. when i felt life was strolling low .. waiting for an inevitable crash.. :)

guess i got another leash of life to take it at least a few steps more ... just a few more to find myself..and i wish i were 3 years old..... AGAIN..
guess my eyes are heavy enf to just stop here ...